Dear Left Bicep,
We are perplexed by your recent behavior, and we need to know what’s up. Yesterday, We (Heather’s body parts) rocked an exhausting 21-mile trailrun. It was steep. It was muddy and it was difficult. We all ran hard for Heather, except for you, Left Bicep. You sucked. For the entire 21-miles.
We’ll tell you what happened.
You cramped. Left Bicep, YOU CRAMPED in the middle of the 21-mile trail run!! Seriously. The highlight of our running week,was almost ruined by you – you don’t even do the hard work! It’s not like you’re the legs. Your job is to swing. That’s it. Swing and repeat.
Clearly, Left Bicep, you were not up to the challenge of performing the swinging action while holding a water bottle.
If it weren’t so shameful, it would be hilarious.
Let’s reply the situation:
Saturday is long trail run day. Nothing unusual about that, right? And yesterday all the body parts agreed that we were feeling fit and ready for a 20-mile trail run. So we got ready, and Stomach suggested that she might do better with more water. So, instead of just carrying one hand-held water bottle we carried two. Again, no big deal. You didn’t raise any objections, and your co-worker, Right Bicep said he was up for the task.
But after only four miles, you started to ache. At five miles you were twinging. And then you cramped. And you kept cramping. And you wouldn’t stop.
Seriously! A Cramping Left Bicep almost cut our run short.
For shame, Left Bicep. For shame.
So, please take a lesson from the Quads. Learn from Calves. Job shadow Hamstrings, if you need to. Our legs are strong – incredibly, wonderfully strong and they work SO damn hard. But they do not cramp. They do not complain (except when we treat them poorly) and they perform well under pressure. It’s inspiring. And they certainly wouldn’t balk at the sight of a water bottle.
Left Bicep. we are not asking for a lot here. We just need you to carry a freakin’ water-bottle, so that during the next run we can concentrate on making Heather a stronger, faster runner. And frankly, there are few things more embarrassing than a weak Left Bicep. So we suggest you toughen up and start hitting the gym.
Heather’s Body Parts.