1. Walk with purpose. Even if you have nowhere to be act like you’re on a mission to met up with someone incredibly important.
2. You will never be considered overdressed. However, you can be eyed sadly if you under dress. When in doubt, dress up. Paradoxically, too much makeup is considered tacky. Ladies, lipgloss and mascara is more than enough.
3. Open toe utility sandals such as Teevas, Chacos, Doc Martens and their kin are gigantic no-no’s even around the house. They instantly mark you as an American tourist without any fashion sense.
4. If you’re 10 minutes late you’re not late enough.
5. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT make eye contact in the metro systems. If you’re a woman and make eye contact with a man on the metro this invariably means that you’re open to his romantic advances.
6. Are you used to eating dinner before 8:30? Then you’re a tourist. Don’t even think of dinner plans until 7:30. At that time you may go for a leisurely drink at a bar or brasserie and then head to a restaurant for a menu fixe – where you should order a pichet of table wine.
7. Smoking is no longer mandatory, but drinking multiple espressos a day is a requirement of any Parisian.
8. No matter what the weather, carry a jacket. Because if you don’t, it will rain, I promise.
9. If you must compliment someone or something, make your compliment a bare minimum. Examples include: “Oui, finalement, tu n’es pas mal”. Actually, you’re not so bad. Or “Je ne l’ai detesté pas.” I didn’t hate it
10. Complain incessantly. About everything. Especially the weather and the toursists.