What do you do if you can’t run and your well-crafted marathon training program flies out the window?
You call your mom.
And complain. A lot.
At least that’s my strategy.
Yesterday my plan backfired. I called my mom, hoping to be soothed, expecting to be comforted, needing to be consoled. Instead I got a big ol’ MOTHER LECTURE. You know what I’m talking about, right? It was the type of talking to where you have to hold the phone away from your ear. The kind where you wince. The kind of mom-lecture that turns your ears red because you know she has a point.
She even used my middle name.
My mom is a powerful force.
I called my mom because I was distraught. The mysterious side-stitch/muscle cramp in my oblique is back and is painful. I’ve taken all the right steps. I went to the massage therapist. I’ve seen two doctors, I’m waiting not-so-patiently for results on my blood tests. The doctors suspect an electrolyte imbalance or something similar. In any case, the main problem is that I’ve got this pain in my side and it hurts. A lot. I can’t run. I’m frustrated that I can’t run and distraught because I don’t know when it will be better.
On the phone my mom listened patiently for the first minute and then she asked, “But have you been running?”
“No, not since Monday.”
“So you ran on Monday?”
“It wasn’t hurting on Monday.”
“How long did you run on Monday? Be honest.” (My mom knows me far too well.)
“Ummm….20 miles.” I said quietly.
I’ll spare you the rest of the conversation. My ears turned red. I held the phone away from my ear. I protested weakly. I defended myself half-heartedly. But there’s not much you can do against a full-blown mother lecture. And she did have a point.
So I will continue to wait patiently and pray to the running gods that my side stitch/muscle spasm/pulled oblique (whatever it may be) resolves itself quickly. Until then I will keep calling my mom.
Take Away Message: I may be 26, but I’m never too old to be lectured by my mom.