At 9:30AM I felt grumpy, funky, and very upset. The day had started badly. I slept poorly and life was not looking rosy. At 11:15 I decided only an intense lunchtime run would make the world right again. Luckily, I had planned ahead and brought my running bag (Never leave home without it).
When lunchtime rolled around, I skipped off to the bathrooom and pulled out my workout clothes. GASSSSP!!! “Noooooooo!!!” I had brought my RSS (Ridiculously Short Shorts) instead of my only semi-RSS. Not cool! RSS are clearly not business casual.
Undeterred, I slid them on and felt like I instantly gained 17 pounds in my thunderous thighs. I contemplated not running at all just because of that – but I was having a seriously bad day and I needed a serious lunchtime run. The sanity of me and my cubiclemates depended on it.
On went the short shorts. On went Phil. On went my socks and shoes and hat. I scooted out the front door of the office before anyone could stop me. I ran down to the waterfront and across the Steel Bridge when it occured to me: Ridiculously Short Shorts seem twice as ridiculous and twice as short when you’re feeling slow.
Has anyone else felt this way? When I’m feeling fast – like I’m made of gazelles and shooting stars, when my pace is magnificent and my stride is light and airy – I feel like I could run naked and not care. But today I felt like I had two bruised, battered and swollen slabs of flesh attached to my hips. My legs were not responsive. They were not nimble and quick and they certainly did not give me any confidence wearing the RSSs. I plowed through seven miles as quickly as my cement-filled legs would carry me.
Despite feeling balloonish and slow, my lunchtime run did the trick. It was bright and blue outside. My legs may have felt awful, but it didn’t really matter. My run centered me and made my world right again. Lunchtime run, you saved me!